Sometimes as I'm rolling down the dial on my swagger wagon (minivan) radio, I come across the top pop songs. And while I would be personally embarrassed to ever associate my talents with music that sounds like the Black-eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, or Katy Perry, I can understand why they are so popular. Though their music offers virtually no food for thought and lacks the creative signature of a true musician, the beats are bangin' and the melodies are catchy. It's shallow but hey, it sells. And if you don't like it, just stick to Christian music. It's a good thing we Christians produce the most in depth music known to mankind. <--Insert Sarcasm Here. Okay, okay, let me start over.
Sometimes - I mean once in a while - okay, rarely do I ever turn the dial to a Christian pop music station but when I do I would be personally embarrassed to ever associate my talents with music that sounds like many of the artists that I hear. Though their music offers virtually no spiritual depth and lacks the creative signature of a true musician, and the beats are often mediocre and sometimes you may remember the melody (highly doubt it), for some reason it sells. It is when I hear music like this that I truly miss the late Rich Mullins, a man that was not only a genuine musician and sincere songwriter, but in many ways the personification of humility.
Rick Warren recently tweeted: "It takes at least a decade of real ministry for God to rid us of the arrogance we develop in college & seminary." As soon as I read that, I said "Amen!" in my heart because I read in my work office and by yelling out randomly, I may cause seizures or heart attacks. It's funny that Pastor Warren mentioned this because I couldn't be feeling more inadequate in my life. [Do not insert encouragement here] And no, I am not writing this for a self-esteem lift from others. My arrogance does not need massaging. Few people need to puffed up in this manner. I guess what I mean is that as I reflect on the first ten years of ministry as a youth pastor, I have found that I still have much to learn. Those that use youth ministry as a stepping stone to a senior pastorate position have barely scratched the surface of youth ministry. And the moment I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on youth ministry, the culture changes and the youth graduate and a whole new batch of youth sit before and the cycle continues. And then once again, I feel as if I have become a youth pastor for the first time all over again. Wow, I haven't even begun to talk about Rich Mullins yet.
Well, Rich Mullins was a man that I believe understood human frailty and our desperate need for an involved God in our lives. People idolized Mullins and yet his music reflected that of an unworthy vessel. Perhaps the Lord took him because his music would soon become culturally irrelevant in this narcissistic society that has infected the church with its poison. Rich Mullins' music always took the focus off of him and put it on God.
One song that has always resonated with me is If I Stand. "So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through. And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You. And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs. And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home"
The longer you live, the more difficult life becomes and the more meaningful this song becomes. Notice the word "If." There is no bold statement here - only a humble and broken man of God. Even Rich Mullins understood that there was no reason for boasting if found himself standing, because a closer examination would reveal that the source of his power to stand was God promise to sustain him. And it is God's promises that keep me going every day. Does this mean that God will work out all the difficult situations in my life? Perhaps life never becomes easier, however eternity with my Savior has been made secure. That promise alone gives me the strength to carry on.
However, there are days when falling seems like the only possibility - as if some invisible magnet is pulling me off a cliff. I try to do things in my own strength and find that I am not adequate to do so. Just as a person free falling has no control, I sometimes find my life spinning out of control. I am sure that I will shatter into a million shards as I come crashing down. The solid footing I once trusted betrayed me and gravity reeled me in like a marlin and yet when I landed, I did not break. For a brief moment, I wanted to gloat as if I were unbreakable until I noticed that I was not on the ground but in the hands of God's grace. As I rest in His hands, all that I can do is weep as a man longing for his home.
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